To the future of our nation
WARNING
Getting A D in any class will legitimately ruin your life
If you get a D, you wont go to college, no sir, you can forget about that.
No college will accept a student who get’s D’s.
Not only will they send you a letter of rejection
They will also mail you an envelope containing anthrax
To help purge the gene pool of D students.
People will look away from you as you walk along the streets
And will cover their children’s eyes so they wont have to look at you either
You will not be allowed into public buildings like libraries and post offices
You will be stopped randomly by the police while driving
(Assuming, of course, you will even own a car, which you wont)
You will end up homeless
You will never get married
You will never have any positive relationships
You will never have children
It has been scientifically proven that people who get D’s in any subject,
(Especially biology)
Have a shorter life expectancy
People who get D’s do not succeed in life, so really that’s better anyway
No grad school for you!
No 9-5, no promotion,
no white picket fence and no front lawn
No dog, no 2.5 kids,
I think we all know that there is really only one way to succeed
In this topsy turvey world of ours
And it does not involve your bad attitude,
Your mid-class catnaps
Your failure to apply yourself
Your art classes
Your “emotional intelligence”
or your communication skills,
(no one wants to talk to a failure, surely you know that?)
Oh no, steer clear of the disgusting cesspools that are D students
Lest you contract this “failure to achieve” yourself!
An easy and effective way to protect yourself from these infectious delinquents
Is to recite your schools mission statement while you walk by them,
Make a cross of your diplomas and hold them at arms length
If you are not sure if they are a D student or not
Simply throw them into the local pool.
If they float, they are definitely a D student.
The only known way to save a D student from their inevitable fate
Is to hit them on the head with a silver weight
this usually results in death, so much the better.
D students are everywhere,
They wander our streets
And go to our schools.
Protect yourself against these abhorrent creatures
Spare yourself their dreadful fate,
I know you’ll make me proud.
![thedailywhat:
Occupy Movement News Update of the Day: Occupy protesters took to the streets today across the country for a day of “mass non-violent direct action” to mark the movement’s two-month anniversary.
“Morning, campers,” tweeted the official Occupy Wall Street feed at 6:35 AM, “It’s a beautiful day for revolution.” 25 minutes later, OWS officially launched the day’s first volley: An attempt to disrupt business at the New York Stock Exchange, and prevent the Opening Bell from ringing on time.
They did not succeed.
NYPD officers arrested dozens of demonstrators and scuffled with dozens more as protesters were pushed around by police officers, allegedly for blocking traffic. Long Range Acoustic Devices were reportedly used by the NYPD to disperse the crowd (see report below).
Among those arrested was retired Philadelphia Police captain Ray Lewis, who joined the protesters yesterday outside Zuccotti Park, and was participating in today’s Day of Action.
Lauren Thorpe snapped this incredible photo of a uniformed Lewis immediately after being handcuffed by NYPD officers:
Another instantly iconic photo to emerge from the early-morning event is this snapshot of NYPD officers attempting to arrest a wheelchair-bound woman. According to The Guardian’s Paul Harris, they eventually gave up and ticketed her instead.
By 11 AM, the majority of protesters made their way to Zuccotti Park, where barricades around the occupation’s former homebase were removed, allowing hundreds of people to spill in.
Additional clashes ensued and many more people were arrested as police attempted to control the crowd and restore the barricades.
An hour and a half later, the barricades were back up, and protesters returned to the streets, marching and chanting up an down Broadway.
Police nearly lost control of protesters in Zuccotti Park for a second time a short while later, when a protester named Brandon Watts had his head bashed against the ground by several officers after he reportedly stole a policeman’s hat. (He was later charged with attempted assault and larceny.)
A New York Daily News report filed around the time of fracas referred to the scene at Zuccotti Park as “full blown mayhem.” Matters were not helped when, twenty minutes later, a protester cut an officer’s hand with a piece of glass.
By 3 PM nearly 200 people had been arrested in all, and at least 7 police offers were injured.
Protesters then launched their next offensive: Occupy The Subways. Despite initial reports, the plan was not to shut down the transit system, but merely use it to “spread stories” with the help of the People’s Mic.
“The real story for tomorrow morning’s paper was there were just not that many people out here,” said Mayor Michael Bloomberg at an afternoon presser.
But the figures swelled significantly as protesters were joined by union members on their way to “take” Foley Square ahead of the day’s final action: A march across the Brooklyn Bridge.
64 protesters, including city councilman Jumaane Williams, were arrested at the base of the bridge before the march even began. All told, some 300 people were arrested during the day’s demonstrations.
Shortly after 6:30, thousands of protesters — possibly as many as 20,000 — began to stream across the bridge carrying candles. Unlike previous events throughout the day, the BK Bridge march was notable for its peaceful nature.
Livestream below, courtesy of TheOther99:
Timelines: Occupy Wall Street; NYT; NYDN; The Atlantic; The Guardian;
Elsewhere:
— Dozens of Occupy LA protesters arrested after marching through downtown, taking over Bank of America Plaza.
— In Portland, clashes between police and Occupy protesters demonstrating in support of N17.
— Occupy Detroit protesters, joined by union members, rallied outside the Coleman A. Young Municipal building.
— Hundreds of Occupy D.C. protesters marched across Key Bridge with little incident.
Further Reading/Viewing:
— 1 percenter Anne Hathaway was spotted among the protesters, holding up a sign that said “blackboards not bullets”:
— Occupy Wall Street message occupies Verizon Building; now with 100% more video.
— 26 Arrested Reporters and What They Do; related photo: journalist with visible press badge being arrest.
— What’s a protest without a counter-protest?; see also: More on these guys.
— Classism at Occupy Wall Street? The Daily Show investigates.
[image: ows.]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luu2s0BfHT1qzpwi0o1_500.jpg)
